Friends & Fashion: A Friendly Competition

All experienced it at some point in our lives: friends who make a competition out of every situation.

If you’re happy about a great review at work, she has reason to believe she’s on the verge of a promotion. You’re pleased that your man is ready to commit and make you his “girlfriend,” and her boyfriend is going to ask for her hand in marriage. Your five year old got an A+ on an English quiz, hers will probably skip kindergarten by the end of the week. The list goes on and on.

Unsurprisingly, this kind of insecurity and antagonism also plays out in fashion. When shopping with your best friend at the mall, god forbids if she grabs the same dress you did and remark that it fits her perfectly. Or after piecing together an outfit that captures your unique style, you’re frustrated to find her wearing a similar look only days later.


It’s easy to determine competition is a manifestation of your best friend’s lack of self-knowledge and love. However, there are other ways that competitiveness can materialize through your wardrobe that aren’t as easy to detect.
While I’ve often found myself the specific target of a competing friend, deeper reflection revealed I’m guilty of competing too, but in a different way. Many women harbor the desire to be the “best-dressed” at every event they attend. Their primary goal is not to compete with one particular girlfriend, but rather to crush the competition as a whole.

It’s a mindset that is reflected and encouraged by popular culture. Endless and lengthy articles written by fashion journalists, determining who is the “Best-Dressed.” After every awards show they write columns like “Who Wore It Better?” that make fashion feel like a battlefield. Rappers and singers alike are covered in material things like custom-made diamond watches and designer bags as evidence that they’re an upgrade from the competition.
So the next time you face your closets to pick out an outfit with that spirit of competition inside you, put the hangers down and start dressing for the approval of yourself and not the acceptance of others.

Though your look may have always been unique and not a carbon copy of your friends’ fashions. Let your sense of style overcome the heavily influenced outside forces. Sure people’s opinions will always play a role in what you choose to wear, but it shouldn’t be the deciding factor. And outdoing one another shouldn’t be the motivation for looking our best.

Whether you’ve found yourself competing with a friend’s look or gunning to be the “best-dressed,” here’s a checklist to ensure that your look is purely a reflection of you:
-Do you genuinely love what you have on or do you just love the attention you receive when you wear it?
-What would you wear if no one (your best friend, boyfriend, etc.) was there to judge your outfit?
-Does your look celebrate what’s unique about your body and not what looks good on someone else?
-Would it matter to you if no one complimented or even liked your look?<br />
&nbsp;From UPT w/♥, Coffλ!

Wale’s Ambition…

Ambition: an earnest desire for some type of achievement or distinction, as power, honor, fame, or wealth, and the willingness to strive for its attainment. Motivated people are characterized by their strong desire for accomplishment or power. Olubowale Victor Akintimehin Folarin, better known as Wale looks to the sky on the illustrated cover of his much anticipated sophomore album worthy entitled “Ambition” is set to drop on November 1, 2011. However, does striving to be number one on a new label provide success with Wale’s new album?
Feelings of being artistically stifled under with Interscope Records forced Wale to part ways with the label and eventually found a new home with Ricky Rozay’s Maybach Music Group. Although this may have raised a few eyebrows, the union seems to be a perfect fit.

As a new addition to Maybach Music Group, many fans may have their reservations about how this album will play out in Wale’s ever-thriving hip hop career. Still Wale demands fans attention with over confident tracks like “Don’t Hold Your Applause,” “Focused,” and “Double M Genius” sounding more like typical Wale. However, it is clear that his sound as changed, working for and against him. So while the “old” Wale is still visible on his new album Ambition, you’ve got to sift through a lot of sex and expensive watches to get there. The question is, is that such a bad thing?

Time and time again Wale is acknowledged for his fusion of DC’s homegrown go-go and street sense hip-hop. He often takes samples from all genres to blend them together while adding clever lyrical content. Surprisingly, this skill is only evident in “Bait.” Remembering a time when Go-Go influenced and served fans well on every Wale song and project? This is nowhere to be found here. Slick wordplay and high-energy tracks still continue to set him apart from other rappers. However, well-produced tracks typically associated with the Maybach Music brand were almost nonexistent on this project.

Unlike his previous album, which featured mostly female singers, male R&B favorites are the featured guests on Ambition, including Ne-Yo, Lloyd, Miguel and Jeremih. Although Wale has built a reputation as a humorous rapper delivering quick punch lines, Wale’s signature rhymes on each slow-tempo ballad gives a spoken word feel, catering more to the ladies. They’re smooth jams that illustrates Wale’s more focused marketing plan: women buy music from men who make them feel wanted and promise to take them away from their bland reality, even if only three mere minutes.

Overall, Ambition is an inconsistent album. Individually, these tracks are all a pretty good listen, but the album flow begins to blend together instead of impress. This is why there may be a love for any track on the first listen, but might forget about it when you play it a second time. Yes, Ambition is a pretty decent album but it just doesn’t stick out the way his slew of mixtapes deliver. Wale seems to be focused, but Wale fans look for more substance and brilliant beats on his projects. The mood of Ambition currently reflects its title and author. On the title track, he raps, “They gon’ love me for my ambition/ Easy to dream a dream, though it’s harder to live it.”

Here is a preview to the album:

By Carbon Black Coffy • Posted in How Eventful, La Musica! • Tagged album, ambition, fans, hip hop, lyrics, music, new music, rap, songs, wale • Edit

Diary of a True Shopaholic

Has this season’s fashions hit your pockets like some natural disaster???? Personally, I have been experiencing shoppers remorse lately. You know when you:

A) Go to the mall, just because it’s Friday
B) Get something cute….but
C) By the time you get home you wish you would have never touched what you purchased.
COMMENT FOR THE ALPHABETICAL LIST!!

Since I haven’t really been working at one of my TWO jobs, funds have been pretty hard to stretch (yeah I’m broke too smdh). I was just thinking, “I CAN NOT BE THE ONLY GIRL WITH THIS PROBLEM!!!!” So I figured I could coach you guys on what to actually to do stretch your money long enough to go places, IN CUTE NEW OUTFITS!
READY??? SET??? SAVE!!!!

#1.ONLY USE CASH!
As a BIG spender you have to understand the amounts that you are spending! For the whole day/weekend you are going to be BIG spending. This includes transportation to & from the mall, as well as the cost of your snacks. Shopping does make you work up a sweat while picking out head turning outfits. So the point of only using cash comes into play because with cash you can actually SEE how much you are spending and (even better) stick to a budget. So when you get your budget adjusted, take that amount out of your account and leave your card at home to prevent any temptations.

#2.Don’t Just Shop, Think!
There is no doubt that my mom has raised a true shopaholic. SMH And there is not a person in this world that can tell me there is a bigger release than shopping. With that said, I noticed for the most part I FEEL good coming out of a store weighed down with bags, but now I know that you have do more than just “feel” while you am in the store. You think about what I am buying.
My new process for purchasing an item is:
A)Do I need it?
B)realistically How often will I use it?
C)How much is it really worth to me?

#3.Plan to Spend
What I’ve noticed is that the more you take unplanned trips to the mall, the more you will spend unnecessary amounts of money. Therefore, tame yourself. OK challenge yourself and somehow(yes, i know its hard to do at first)only go to the mall if you really need to buy something specific(maybe an outfit for a special occasion, etc). If that’s not the case depending on your “situation” try to limit yourself to once or twice a month.

These are going to be my key steps to keep the overdrafts down because I know how I get in the summertime. I figured, since I like to look pretty, my bank account might as well look pretty too. So join me on giving my bank account a summer make over! Good Luck!
From UPT w/♥,
Coffλ!

Make Black History Everyday!

It’s that time of year again, Black History Month. The question is, “How do we maintain its relevance today?” We all know about Langston Hughes, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, and Coretta Scott King. The mission is not to shy away from the names and faces that have become familiar to us, but instead to expand above and beyond the few. Black History month was essentially created for us. Black History was created to celebrate the rising of the nation of people of African American decent. So lets not celebrate it in vain people.
As an African-American child, I heard the stories and autobiographies hundreds of time. However, is the impact truly implemented? Most likely not. I’m just saying, what are the odds that children today really understand the harsh realities that has moldedAfrican Americans into the people we are today?
Being the crazy person that I am I ask my friends “Exactly how do you plan to celebrate this holiday this year?” It burns my ears to hear replies like, “By staying black!” or “A month is too long to celebrate.” Of course. Why are we so ungrateful for the great things our ancestors have done for us? Because we don’t know them? Because they’re not here today? Because they can’t punish us if we don’t? Preposterous.

Complaints of Black History Month being the shortest month in the year is simply preposterous. Personally, I think that’s just an excuse for African-Americans to continue to be oppressed. We continue to be upset and not reflect on our past. How can we possibly have a better, brighter future if we do not know about our history. this thought is backed up by the African principle Sankofa. Sankofa is derived from King Adinkera of the Akan people of West Africa.

Sankofa” teaches us that we must go back to our roots in order to move forward. That is, we should reach back and gather the best of what our past has to teach us, so that we can achieve our full potential as we move forward. Whatever we have lost, forgotten, forgone or been stripped of, can be reclaimed, revived, preserved and perpetuated.

You must be educated on your roots. Even things like the pyramids, The power of Ancient African cities, the height of architecture. They were the first cities to be created in human history. They have been admired imitated, but never properly depicted. The thousand desperate robbers, thieves and destroyers, tried and tested the pyramids strength. Yet even today they still stand, like the powerful, black people who despite the odds of slavery, segregation, and oppression still grace this earth today.

G-H-E-T-T-O Girls

 

Her boldness is the everyday style of millions of the ghetto girls world wide who wear attitude like battle armor. She always ready for the next battle. A five year old ghetto girl may be in charge of an apartment that is mostly motherless. She may be responsible for the care of an infant child, to cook, to guard the door keys. She even has to lie to the curious welfare workers, children services agents, probation officers and their controlling on lookers. Essentially, she “holds it down” while mommy works for the money, chicken and $150 sneaks. If you help her, she’ll take what you’ve got but never trust you. She’ll use it, but won’t depend on it happening twice. Trying to grow up without people stealing all her shoes or her sanity is a hard challenge, but he makes it happen. Whether its her money or man, her rights or her reputation, protection from hatred and jealousy is unavoidable when cliques in the hood are eating and earning the majority of the people starve and scrape to get by.

As a go to for fashion and daily decorating herself in jewels and authentic designer wear. Under normal standards living in the hood, she constantly has the possibility of being robbed, maybe raped and definitely harassed. Luxuries and money, she has these things, because she believes is supposed to. However, even so there are other things that come along with the territory.
Not only does she has to deal with unwanted sexual advances by boys and men. Not to mention the fact that she doesn’t have a biological or present father, has become the socially excepted norm. A true ghetto girl does not even have to respond to teachers, guidance counselors, or school administrators.

Most times her environment permanently alters her ability to experience healthy relationships. When this ghetto girl has money and her friends don’t, the bond that supposedly holds them together can be either flimsy or completely artificial. When she’s is wrong, no one corrects her. Instead, they fear being cut out of the benefits that hanging out with the money girl brings. Its evident that she prefers the projects to any palace. She prefers cement to grass and even the commotion over the peace. She needs to be in the projects with hundreds of people beneath her.

Her captive audience and jealous schoolmates are important to her. The need to be surrounded by the familiar, but subordinate things appears to be important. To her understanding, the suburbs is a place where no one knows her position or even cares. Being in the suburbs, she’ll soon met her worst fear, blending in.
Every ghetto girl has a story…

From UPT w/♥,
Coffy!

Happy Hairversary!

I can’t believe it’s about to be a whole year since I have embraced weave! And I must say I’m very glad that I stepped out of my comfort zone, taking on another challenge. Just about a year ago, I have stepped up my “Hair Game” (if you will) and taught myself how to do a variation of styles using weave. These experiments ranged from curly to straight and long to short. Thanks to weave, my styles are attributed to my mood. When someone has the nerve to question my weave wearing, I kindly tell them, “It’s simple. Just like my earrings, necklaces, and rings, my weave is an accessory. Keep in mind, I’m an artist and this is an expression of my self taught skill.“

As always, I’ve been big on hair. Ironically, I had the worst time with my hair growing up. Whether it be washing, blow drying, or even preparing for bed, there was difficulty. My mother definitely tried, but failed at doing a head full of thick and natural hair. Inevitably, this crime led us to the salon every two weeks. The days of elementary, middle and high school, I was famously known for my press and curl. All the other girls in my classes wore braids or permed hairstyles. Yet, my mother attested them, leaving me to stick out like a soar thumb. However, this gave me a very early lesson to embrace my natural beauty, the one god gave me.
On top of everything else, everyone only knew me by my hair. Even today, my hair is the first thing people recognize or retain from the last time we’ve seen each other. on the other hand that’s been the reason why some of my peers don’t recognize me when i switch up my hair styles (which is often every week or two). With all that aside, I still (and always will) love my hair and the long journey we have surpassed together. My hair has never been a walk in the park, but when those tough times arise I’ll always have a pack of weave by my side.

Vintage Chic

Many women love vintage shopping for unique pieces that set their wardrobe apart from women who strictly chooses designer labels. Are you getting the most for your money and investing in pieces you can actually wear?

When you head into your favorite thrift shop, it is easy to feel overwhelmed. There are tons of one-of-a-kind clothing pieces and alluring accessories that at first glance seem perfect. However, keep in mind they might not be perfect for you. Here are 5 ways to make sure that when you shop vintage, you come home with something worthwhile:

1. The Condition Should Be Perfect
That means no pulling, stains, discoloration or loose threads. These details make the difference between a piece that is timeless and a garment that’s just dated.
2. Pick Pieces You Are Actually Going To Wear
The most common error in vintage shopping is buying something just because you like the way it looks. Though clothing can be a work of art, if you can’t incorporate it into the wardrobe you have now, it’s a total waste of money.
3. Be Creative
At the same time, don’t pass up a garment because it lacks all the bells and whistles of today’s clothes. Put your creative thinking hat on! You may need to add studs or remove a sleeve or two to make the look work for your modern style.
4. Pay Attention To Fit
Vintage pieces are made differently then clothing today. Women used to wear undergarments to give the garments the shape that they wanted. To make sure your vintage find gives you the perfect fit, follow these steps:
-Learn your measurements, especially if you are going to be vintage shopping online.
-Stick to shapes and silhouettes that you already know work for your body type.
-If visiting a thrift store, wear clothes that you can get in and out of easily so you can try pieces on.
-Remember your tailor is your friend!
5. Post-Shopping Care
Since vintage items have a longer shelf life than newly-constructed pieces, they need extra attention. Don’t forget to wash your items with care as soon as you bring them home. Hang delicate pieces in a garment bag or fold and wrap them in tissue paper for storage.
From UPT w/♥,
£u¢kλ £íßra!

Finally Off Campus

As a college student, you are faced with tough decisions each and every day. Should I go to the café or order Chinese? Should I study for my quiz tomorrow or go to the movies with friends? Should I stay pre-med or major in musical theater? But one decision that can be surprisingly simple is the decision to live off-campus.
Most colleges require you to live on-campus during your freshman year, but after a year (or two) of not so polite roommates you desperately want the key to officially unlock your freedom. Living off campus is a definite possibility. However, if you want to live off-campus then you should consider moving off-campus.
Of course the decision to move off-campus is not that easy. Especially when you have to take your parents concerns into account. For those of you saying, “My parents will never let me,” below is all you need to know about getting your parents on board the off-campus train.

Finances
At least on month prior to moving out, figure out where you are going to live. Your parents want to know that you think in advance about the consequences of future decisions. Consider the rent the exact amount, (not ranges) according to you and your parents’ financial standing. Gather the money you will need to live for a third or half the time you will be living off campus. Most parents will assist you in paying the rent. However, there is always a limit. So take the time to actually do the math. Parents like when you come to them with details and complete information. They’ll be in disbelief when you rationally explain that living off-campus will save them money.
Location/Commuting
Examine the distance from school to campus. Is it more than 30 minutes? If so, remember, the closer the better. Parents sometimes get on edge about their children commute too many miles a day. Be sure to include how you plan to get back and forth to campus. Understand that a car does not run on water, so make plans to get a job to main your vehicle.
People
Which friends (if any) will be living with you and for how long? Your parents are always going to want to be informed. So don’t allow secrets or hiding details of your living arrangements become your downfall. Let’s be realistic, boy/girlfriends will most likely not be acceptable roommates in your parents eyes.

Show Off!
Make it obvious that you are (or willing to become) responsible adult. Parents want you to be responsible and living in your own apartment will require you to be responsible. Show that you are confident and excited to take on that responsibility. For example keep your room spotless, wash clothes and dishes, and even take care of small things your parents normally handle. If your parents still don’t buy it, let it be known that you are willing to grow up. Say something like, “I will just have to learn how to cook and clean and care for an apartment. I won’t have a choice. I will have to learn how to do these things eventually and I am excited and ready to learn now.

Congratulations! You’ve just successfully won over your parents and will be moving off-campus next semester. Happy moving!

From UPT w/♥,
Coffλ!

Unique Potential

What is unique potential??While matriculating through college, one definitelty is exposed to a unique growing experience, whether it be with morals, work ethic, social life, networking, etc. Some may even call it unique potential  Unique potential is not a job or a career, but it is discovering who you are and what you can best bring to this world. It starts with challenging yourself and receiving support from their peers and community to go after your future endevors. Nothing&nbsp;is&nbsp;impossible, or even unlikely.
And it feels crazy for me to say this now, but I am finally living up to my life's full potential. I have made choices to live by:
 #1. Don't let other opions consume you.
#2. Live YOUR life

The more I think about it, the more I reflect on how I used to be so afraid to be myself. I was afraid to just be. However, now i see the importance of confidence. No, this outgoing chick you see on my blog, was not always this way. We all go through plenty of struggles. Trust me. Every day, I try to reflect on how much I have grown (especially since attending college). I can only speak from my experiences and I must say... Yes, everything does happen for a reason but on the flip side, things don'thappen for a reason as well. Sometimes God doesn't give you what you want. Sometimes this may have you feeling down, but just know that in some instance it wasn't meant to be. He's planning something so much greater than you could even image! With each day He gives you, He love showers you with love. There may been a time when the one thing you continued to hold onto was never good for you in the first place. And sudently its being ripped from you and you're even more hurt than before. But understand it was simply the best for the best!
I hope this was inspiring!!! Remember...
Its all UP to you!!! Use your Unique Potential!!!<