All experienced it at some point in our lives: friends who make a competition out of every situation.
If you’re happy about a great review at work, she has reason to believe she’s on the verge of a promotion. You’re pleased that your man is ready to commit and make you his “girlfriend,” and her boyfriend is going to ask for her hand in marriage. Your five year old got an A+ on an English quiz, hers will probably skip kindergarten by the end of the week. The list goes on and on.
Unsurprisingly, this kind of insecurity and antagonism also plays out in fashion. When shopping with your best friend at the mall, god forbids if she grabs the same dress you did and remark that it fits her perfectly. Or after piecing together an outfit that captures your unique style, you’re frustrated to find her wearing a similar look only days later.
It’s easy to determine competition is a manifestation of your best friend’s lack of self-knowledge and love. However, there are other ways that competitiveness can materialize through your wardrobe that aren’t as easy to detect.
While I’ve often found myself the specific target of a competing friend, deeper reflection revealed I’m guilty of competing too, but in a different way. Many women harbor the desire to be the “best-dressed” at every event they attend. Their primary goal is not to compete with one particular girlfriend, but rather to crush the competition as a whole.
It’s a mindset that is reflected and encouraged by popular culture. Endless and lengthy articles written by fashion journalists, determining who is the “Best-Dressed.” After every awards show they write columns like “Who Wore It Better?” that make fashion feel like a battlefield. Rappers and singers alike are covered in material things like custom-made diamond watches and designer bags as evidence that they’re an upgrade from the competition.
So the next time you face your closets to pick out an outfit with that spirit of competition inside you, put the hangers down and start dressing for the approval of yourself and not the acceptance of others.
Though your look may have always been unique and not a carbon copy of your friends’ fashions. Let your sense of style overcome the heavily influenced outside forces. Sure people’s opinions will always play a role in what you choose to wear, but it shouldn’t be the deciding factor. And outdoing one another shouldn’t be the motivation for looking our best.
Whether you’ve found yourself competing with a friend’s look or gunning to be the “best-dressed,” here’s a checklist to ensure that your look is purely a reflection of you:
-Do you genuinely love what you have on or do you just love the attention you receive when you wear it?
-What would you wear if no one (your best friend, boyfriend, etc.) was there to judge your outfit?
-Does your look celebrate what’s unique about your body and not what looks good on someone else?
-Would it matter to you if no one complimented or even liked your look?<br />
From UPT w/♥, Coffλ!
